139

we lived in a house at the end of the street
you’d turn the corner from the main road and we were there
this delicate landmark
this home sweet home

some nights the house would creak
old pipes, my dad would say
but some nights I swore I heard voices
ghosts of me from the future
whispering to remember this part
to remember this

I’m inflicted with memory
of first steps and a porch swing
a swinging pendulum of how time passes
that limbo when a moment turns into a memory
and all you can do is just watch it leave

when will this memory taste less sour
when does it get sweeter

134

I’ve had dreams of alternate worlds
cotton candy clouds and magical hillsides
where things go upside down on thursdays
and there’s no wifi on sundays

my feet will one day plant on uneven ground
and find strength to grow
even amidst strangeness

119

a bubble, burst
each time a year passes, I
feel it a little more
a sensation like hourglass sand
slipping through my calloused hands

I think of fizzles
champagne, popped
cold, crisp, unsweetened
an overflowing farewell to what we leave behind
and a toast to all we hope is ahead

118

In my life, I’ve heard stories that could crumble whole cities
some that tear us open and
dig at whatever is left
I’ve felt that secondhand sadness
when you are so overwhelmed by how much you feel
that you don’t think you can carry it all

I’ve cried with the ones I’ve loved
and said goodbye to things too good to be true
worlds that are oceans away
and lives I didn’t get a chance to live

I’ve watched people dust themselves off
wipe away tears and
move on, no fanfare

and god if that isn’t enough to know
that the world is cruel, but the world understands
maybe we don’t always get what we want
but we’re always in orbit, together
and I’m okay with that

 

 

The year is coming to a close, and I’m bringing this phrase with me: “and I’m okay with that.” Consider all the things going on in your life and all the battles you still have ahead, and add this phrase to the end of it. Here’s some of mine:

I’m a little sad to say goodbye, and I’m okay with that.
I haven’t figured it out yet, and I’m okay with that.

What are yours? Stay positive, friends. See you next year.

Love,
ELLE