fake it til ya make it

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Let’s talk about confidence.

I’ve known plenty of successful, confident people who didn’t know what they were talking about—in this case, let’s call him Steven. I can objectively say that the Stevens I’ve met in my life are rambunctious, driven and hold heads up high despite (and let’s face it) we know a lot more than him. But he is so confident in his abilities that he convinces others of it: he moves up in the ladder, gets the promotion, gets the better grade or whatever it is, while it always seems that you get left behind.

Now, that’s not any fault of Steven for being able to portray that level of self-esteem and leverage it to get what he wants. But it does provide a disservice to us if we don’t do the same—especially if we have the same (or better!) capabilities that he does.

And while you and I both know that Steven may not be the smartest guy in the room, we also know for a fact that it’s the confidence that got him there. This week, I want you to walk into every encounter with the exact same level of confidence that Steven has. Even if you feel like you may not totally know what you’re doing or if you feel completely out of your depth. Hold your head up high. Drown out your insecurities. Believe in your own ability.

I know that sounds terrifying and uncomfortable to be so self-assured, but you know that you know your stuff. People like Steven have faked it until they made it; lucky for you, you already have it. You just need to be ready to share it with everyone else.

Be assertive. Be confident. Know your worth. If Steven can win over a crowd and have no idea what he’s talking about, you can walk in with that same enthusiasm, a lot more knowledge, and woo the crowd over, too.

 

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Did someone forward this to you? Subscribe here to receive a pep-talk straight to your inbox every Wednesday. Until then, see ya next week!

love,
ELLE

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gone swimming

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Hard decisions are really freaking hard. I’ve recently had to make an important choice myself: Will I go over the deep end and try something terrifying, unsure and potentially life-changing, or stay in the shallow pool where it’s safe and guaranteed I (probably) won’t drown?

This sort of self-reflection is so tough to swallow. A year ago last year, you felt so blessed to be in this position and now you’re seeking something bigger. Why can’t you be happy with what you have? Because you’ve grown. And you’re still growing.

It could be as big as a career change or even as everyday as going out when you’d usually stay in. Whatever it is, there is no wrong answer to that tough choice. Though, I will say this: I can’t tell you about the nights I stayed in. Even times when I went out and was bored by the company, at least I had a funny story to tell.

Staying on the shallow side isn’t a bad thing – just don’t ever think it’s all there is. Even if it’s scary, even if it seems monumental, we have the rest of our lives to get it right, and maybe even a little wrong, too.
Let’s mess things up sometimes. We can forgive ourselves later.

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Did someone forward this to you? Subscribe here to receive a pep-talk straight to your inbox every Wednesday. Until then, see ya next week!

Thanks to Otakuaegyochan for this week’s theme, “making important choices.” Click the comment button below to tell me what themes you’d like to hear about next week! Until then, see you Sunday.

love,
ELLE

 

be nice to people

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Hi! Grab your coffee and let’s chat. This week felt really difficult at times, but I’m glad we’re here now. It seems like everyone has been in a mood the last few days, and perhaps that has gotten to you, too. Maybe a boss, co-worker, friend, family. Don’t sweat it. Keep in mind that people have their own lives and their own baggage to carry, and even when they display their frustrations, they aren’t always frustrated at you. You may just happen to be nearby.

In my experience, it’s easy to internalize someone else’s emotions as your own. I sure do this a lot. You don’t have to carry this weight on your shoulders. Instead, consider all the tough things going on in your life that people don’t know about. Imagine all those things are also happening to that person.

When you find yourself in moments of frustration with someone else, the most mature thing you can do is to try and understand them. Funnily enough, they’re just like you – only different. Breathe in, breathe out, and remember that thankfully, not everything is about you. Let those folks deal with their emotions on their own, and you go out there and live your life.

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Did someone forward this to you? Subscribe here to receive a pep-talk straight to your inbox every Wednesday.

Click the comment button below to tell me what themes you’d like to hear about next week! Until then, see you Sunday.

love,
ELLE