178

I once used to choose between essentials
to save on the costs I’d accrue
so frugal in my pursuit of protecting
my coin purse

that fallen sparrow
that delicate insecurity
of knowing what I needed and yet
simply could not afford

I remind myself to be thankful
to be in a position of privilege
to have the power to pay for
the things I deserve
because of what I’ve built
because of everything I’ve achieved
because of the person I’ve grown to become
all those years ago

177

snow falls and time passes
the sun stays
a little longer than the night before
and yet I still go to bed cold

the times we take warmth for granted
the way heat stuck to you like a tattoo
cement sidewalks emitting a fever on your feet
if there was a way to feel warmer on any given day
no matter the weather
if I could bottle up bike rides and orange sunrises
strawberries ripe on the kitchen counter
a perfume I wish I could buy