one day soon
we’ll be sitting in the sun
the beach waves flicker
with sunlight, reflecting back
a nearby stereo plays
a song you love
people around you laugh
about their sundays
one day soon
but until then, remember
that life is a string of moments
from one to the next
and this current one we’re in
is just one of them
some days I feel like rain
when it pours like a weight
I’m asking others to carry
some days I feel like snow
falling, slowly
landing wherever feels right
at the time
some days I feel like sunshine
warm and light and full of life
eager to share it with everyone I meet
and some days I feel like dew
drops on a blade of grass
starting fresh, starting anew
no matter what happened yesterday
I once used to choose between essentials
to save on the costs I’d accrue
so frugal in my pursuit of protecting
my coin purse
that fallen sparrow
that delicate insecurity
of knowing what I needed and yet
simply could not afford
I remind myself to be thankful
to be in a position of privilege
to have the power to pay for
the things I deserve
because of what I’ve built
because of everything I’ve achieved
because of the person I’ve grown to become
all those years ago
I wonder if my past selves
could guess where I’d be today
through phases and teething pains
I’ve grown into a full-fledged person
that (I hope) can make my parents proud
to make their sacrifice worth it
there once were dreams I swore I’d dreamt
believing I could be someone worth the pride
I keep giving to other people
the world keeps spinning and I keep going
and I just hope that’s enough
I hope my past selves are cheering
neatly, row by row
we expect things to go, just so
an exact science
a perfect, synchronous dance
I’ve never quite felt that
things went according to plan
my to do list, neatly ticked
instead it was more like
ingredients poured into a bowl
mixed until it’s all
one and the same
at the end of the day, you end up with a cake
and it’s delicious and warm and colourful
who cares what it looked like to get here
if you already earned your slice
like a weight on your chest
acknowledge when it’s not yours to carry
just because it is heavy
preserve strength for the moments that matter
seek understanding in
the things you cannot change
for you have many, many years left
to do many, many great things
and there is no space in the cabin
for someone else’s luggage
how flowers bloom even when no one watches
how growth comes from deep within
whether there’s applause or not
seeing this horizon
of all the greatest things
I’m allegedly destined to be
it’s terrifying to imagine any of it
not coming true
like an anti-horoscope
knowing what you’re capable of
and not mustering the willpower
to grab at it
to know the fruit is there
the sweetest thing you may ever taste
but being afraid of heights
when you spend your days hoping for a very specific outcome
everything else can feel like a disappointment
celebrate the little things
as they slowly become bigger things
elleguyence 