one day soon
we’ll be sitting in the sun
the beach waves flicker
with sunlight, reflecting back
a nearby stereo plays
a song you love
people around you laugh
about their sundays
one day soon
but until then, remember
that life is a string of moments
from one to the next
and this current one we’re in
is just one of them
there are so many moments in any given day
that are worth remembering
to one day reminisce about
I keep having to remind myself that
life really is just a string of moments
and whether or not I remember them all
isn’t the point
maybe we’re meant to forget the small things
that come and go every day
maybe they’re placeholders
fill in the blanks for
all the big stuff coming our way
that we haven’t envisioned yet
I remind myself of all the times I swore
I couldn’t do it
when I was ready to give in
the fear too palpable to swallow
I think of those moments
life-changing decisions I couldn’t see myself
seeing through
and think of who I am today
the antithesis of that fear
the phoenix from that rubble
I take those ashes and scatter them
like confetti
snow falls and time passes
the sun stays
a little longer than the night before
and yet I still go to bed cold
the times we take warmth for granted
the way heat stuck to you like a tattoo
cement sidewalks emitting a fever on your feet
if there was a way to feel warmer on any given day
no matter the weather
if I could bottle up bike rides and orange sunrises
strawberries ripe on the kitchen counter
a perfume I wish I could buy
I wonder if my past selves
could guess where I’d be today
through phases and teething pains
I’ve grown into a full-fledged person
that (I hope) can make my parents proud
to make their sacrifice worth it
there once were dreams I swore I’d dreamt
believing I could be someone worth the pride
I keep giving to other people
the world keeps spinning and I keep going
and I just hope that’s enough
I hope my past selves are cheering
like a weight on your chest
acknowledge when it’s not yours to carry
just because it is heavy
preserve strength for the moments that matter
seek understanding in
the things you cannot change
for you have many, many years left
to do many, many great things
and there is no space in the cabin
for someone else’s luggage
how flowers bloom even when no one watches
how growth comes from deep within
whether there’s applause or not
the unfortunate luck of being unlucky
in both what you control and what you can’t
I wonder which is harder to accept
I’ve been told a lot of my life that
luck pulses out of my fingertips
a magnetic field of good fortune
even as a child, I grew
believing my luck to be so
nature versus nurture
what if it was only
the belief in being positive
that made me this way?
what if the magic of being lucky
is in believing it exists at all?
backseat driver
we cruise through life and think that we are responsible
for everything that happens
for all the doors we don’t open
for all the windows we close
sometimes I feel so much for the way things were
a sense of loneliness that only I seem to recall
I listen to old songs
I watch the same movies, trying
to hold onto something I can’t touch
time passes
whether we acknowledge it or not
and all we can do is keep driving
spaghetti strap-sized scolding
girls used to get sent home for
their sunburnt shoulders
why would we make it so easy to ogle
why would we make it so worth looking at
how often were we taught that
someone else’s wandering gaze
was our fault
elleguyence 