Addiction like
a familiar fiend
staring down the bottom
of a porcelain bowl
I forfeited what I believed
I didn’t deserve.

Finding my old self there
the one who spiralled to this moment
a girl who used to believe
that size zero had gravitas to it

I felt comfort in the past
of reminding myself of who I used to be
and all I still have left
to become.

Progress is progress is progress
and relapse is not an eclipse
just a moment within this large expanse
of forgiving oneself
for turning out the light
before it got dark.

A paper boat may not sail the seven seas
and may not get to
the finish line first
but she is still a boat
and she is still
getting somewhere

35 thoughts on “50

  1. Oh to spend an hour in your heart and mind, you are deeper than deep and wiser than the prophets when it comes to human nature. It is hard to imagine you having any weakness or struggles. But it comes back to self love, I think , which is the hardest love of all. How can it be when so many others love us, we can’t see our beautiful worth to the world. And knowing you, if you collected all the love everyone has for you, you would need galaxies just to store it in. I love this piece, and I love you . So there!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Again you’ve created a blazingly beautiful poem. This poem dips deeply into the addiction of being addicted and how those that are can get through it and even when they think that all is lost, they are “like a paper boat that is still going somewhere” You have an amazing ability to write poems that convey a story that comes from deep inside your heart. I love this poem. It’s a winner, like you. Stan

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha thanks for pointing it out! It’s definitely a play on ‘familiar friend’ but it’s really a frequent enemy, so fiend is right. I do appreciate the keen eye though–I have fallen prey in the past to a poor typo! 😛 Thanks Jack.


  3. shoniessky

    when one gives up before they know the outcome. Again I think I have you pegged just a bit. 🙂 see what I MEAN? as you scroll through all I write in response to your writing. I have been away on a break for a little while but will ALWAYS, ALWAYS come to see you because you have become someone I actually speak about even now. I was just telling my son and daughter about you this weekend, all great things of course but it’s just in life you meet people sometimes through deeper aspects than in physical form that leave a mark in your life! that was you for me. stay great my friend. love shonie!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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